Toast Patrol

Now, toasty-friends, it's time for a new segment on the blog that I've taken to calling 'Toast Patrol'. The Great and Toasty One (that's me!) finds pictures that are in need of a right and proper mocking, then gives it to them. In celebration of my surmounting the sixth chapter (and in keeping with the Twilightiness that this blog is mired in for the forseeable future) I've picked from one of the many, many worthy pictures that Twilight-dom has to offer. Also, joining me are my esteemed colleagues, Forrest Gumption and Pither. Right then, let the mockery commence! Twilight, ye shall not escape the watchful eye of the TOAST PATROL!

imp.toast: First off, what are the two on the left looking at that no one else sees?

Forrest Gumption: Edward Pattinson's gigantic hair.

Forrest Gumption: It's like a Japanese rubber suit monster.

Pither: A better franchise.

Pither: Off in the distance.

Forrest Gumption: The guy in the back is trying his hardest not to pee himself with that thing in the room.

imp.toast: Does thrusting your chest out help you not pee?

Forrest Gumption: Obviously.

Forrest Gumption: Chest out, pee in.

Forrest Gumption: Meanwhile it looks like Edward there IS peeing himself.

Forrest Gumption: Kristen Stewart is the proof.

imp.toast: She looks entirely too calm for that.

Forrest Gumption: Remember he's cold, so she thinks he spilled a soda or something.

Pither: He has a slimey little secret.

Forrest Gumption: The horror of undead urine hasn't settled in yet.

imp.toast: This picture makes me more uncomfortable by the second.

Forrest Gumption: Where are they btw? This looks like the inside of Cerebro.

Forrest Gumption: Are they mutants?

Forrest Gumption: I mean, yes they are. But in the movie I mean!

imp.toast: No, no... it's one of those backdrops for elementary school pictures.

Pither: photoshop>filter>render>clouds

Forrest Gumption: Now, I don't want to offend anybody, but can you tell me why a small group of special young adults would all be in kindergarten together?

Forrest Gumption: It might have something to do with Eddie Pee-Pants there up front.

imp.toast: Um... I said ELEMENTARY school.

imp.toast: They're first grade, at least.

Pither: So where is the twilight?

Forrest Gumption: In the night sky.

Pither: I only see dark clouds.

Forrest Gumption: Behind them.

Forrest Gumption: Clearly.

Pither: So they're in front of the premise?

Forrest Gumption: They're.......eclipsing it.

Forrest Gumption: Yes.

Pither: AH

Pither: It's a play on words.

Pither: That's so intellivision.